“There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second,” wrote Logan Pearsall Smith in his book Life and Human Nature.
We all have paths to take and a choice to make. One must discern the direction, method, and pace to reach that destination or the goal. At times, it is a circuitous route with detours, unexpected twists and turns. It can be an uphill climb that is full of spikes, craters, and bumps.
There are bridges to cross over chasms, gorges, and rivers. One must walk in a dry desert to search for an oasis. The jungle has predators, but the forest has tree canopies, little springs and streams.
Life is a journey in opposite or crossing directions. The outer journey happens as a child takes his first step away from the warm embrace of his mother until he reaches adulthood. He has set certain goals — education, career, probably a family.
Others choose to remain solitary and focus on work.
The period of growth takes about 40 years.
In midlife, the inner journey begins. It may be triggered by a wounding, a sudden period of illness and inactivity. It could be the loss of a job. The uprooting from a familiar environment (workplace or home) to a new place, or the loss of a loved one.
There is discomfort, disorientation, grief, pain, and an imbalance that can be overwhelming.
Every change one makes causes stress. It is an upheaval that upsets the normal rhythm.
Away from the comfort zone, the individual must confront the subconscious — the deep-seated fears, anxieties and issues that need resolution.
Reflection and introspection may take years. With a busy life and work, one hardly has time to stop and think. The physical down time has positive aspects. Tapping the inner self awakens the spirit and enhances the mind, assessing the future requires both the left and right brains.
Logic and intuition. Yin and Yang.
The period of discovery is not easy. One should discard the nonessentials such as the burden of excessive material possessions and opportunistic, calculating, fair weather “friends” (this is a challenge).
After a period of introspection and careful discernment, one sheds the baggage and seeks closure. It is the way to make peace — with oneself and the past. At the crossroads, there is a sense of wonder.
What lies beyond the fork — when one can choose the road less traveled? Are there options, new pathways? Where do they lead? Is it worth taking the lead? Is it worth taking a big risk — to face new, daunting challenges and start over? One feels pressure and compulsion at this point and hesitates. Thoughts swirl in the mind.
With wisdom and divine grace, one achieves clarity of vision and a sense of freedom.
Charles Reade, a British writer, once wrote, “Sow an act, you reap a habit. Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”
Maria Victoria Rufino is an artist, writer and businesswoman. She is president and executive producer of Maverick Productions.
