Burnout among parents is a common occurrence, but for fathers in particular, it often goes unspoken and under-addressed.
According to the American Psychological Association, burnout often begins with a sense of constant physical and emotional exhaustion. Parents describe feeling overwhelmed and depleted. Over time, that exhaustion can lead to emotional distancing.
Eventually, parents reach a point where they no longer find joy. This stage, experts said, is when the damage spreads to mental health, family relationships, and even children’s well-being.
“Burnout is the result of too much stress and the absence of resources to cope with it,” said psychologist Isabelle Roskam, who has studied more than 17,000 parents across 42 countries.
Studies show that parents experiencing burnout are more likely to report feelings of shame, guilt, and despair. Some experience thoughts of escape or even suicide. Others engage in behavior they later regret, such as yelling or using punitive discipline with their children, even when they deeply oppose it.
With burnout, fathers may withdraw from their parental responsibilities, not because they do not care, but because they feel unable to give more. Social expectations around masculinity may also make it harder for men to talk openly about stress or seek support. They may fear being seen as weak or believe they should “tough it out.” That mentality can worsen burnout.
Lisa Coyne, a psychologist at McLean Hospital and Harvard Medical School, said some parents already face chronic stress. Single fathers, fathers of children with special needs, and immigrant fathers are especially at risk.
“If there are groups already experiencing prolonged stressors, they are going to be more vulnerable to mental health issues and burnout,” Ms. Coyne said.
Struggle for working fathers
This emotional burden becomes even more complicated when fathers must also balance full-time work, as the dreams of having a thriving career and a connected family life do not always reconcile for working fathers. According to the Harvard Business Review, most working fathers are realizing their careers no longer align with what they value most at home. Now, they are trying to adjust without losing the ground they have worked hard to gain.
A report from Maven Clinic shows that 24% of employees have taken extended leave or career breaks due to burnout. Another 41% said they would leave their current jobs for better family health benefits. These figures highlight a growing disconnect between what employers offer and what modern fathers need.
Still, many fathers want to provide well and excel at their jobs. However, they are beginning to question the value of professional success if it comes at the cost of only catching up with their children through a phone call, according to the Harvard Business Review.
The American Psychological Association stated that burnout often causes fathers to feel detached from the things they care about. Experts recommend finding ways to reconnect not only with their children but also with their personal values.
“Plan something simple with your child,” said Dr. Debbie Sorensen, a Denver-based psychologist. “Go for ice cream, play a game, or just sit and talk. Then remind yourself what you love about your child — and what you are good at as a father.”
These moments do not erase burnout, but they can provide emotional grounding during challenging times.
Another study titled “A Matter of Time: Father Involvement and Child Cognitive Outcomes” found that children benefit when fathers engage in daily caregiving. The researchers said many fathers want to share parenting responsibilities equally with their partners, but workplace expectations often interfere.
Though many fathers wish to take on more caregiving duties, their ability to do so still depends on support from their employers. The study suggests that stronger work-family balance policies would enable more fathers to participate in caregiving, which would benefit children in the long term. — Mhicole A. Moral
